Evil Alarm Clock

Evil alarm clock:
"Screech! Screech! Screech! Screech!" taunting me.
Clock, I hate you so.

Devil Duck

Flapping at my back

I glance back and view evil

A duck attacks me

There is a duck at my apartment complex that has attacked me twice now. I was walking around the pond on Sunday, and he ran up to me head on. He was a fast runner, too! At first I thought, "How cute! He wants food or something." If Stacy equals food then yes, he wanted food.

Today the cruel, evil beast attacked me from behind. I was walking from my car to my apartment after a long day at work. I hear demon wings flapping at my back. Ice water ran through my veins, and I knew: it was that damn duck. I turned around, and he started nipping at me. He BIT my computer bag. I gently swung it at him trying to scare him away. Well, friends, that just made him angry. The beast pursued me to the stairway. I started bounding up the steps, and I heard those wings in the air. But, he decided not to follow. Thank goodness.

Now, this was no cute, little mallard. This was a beast that looks like a freaking dinosaur. It's called a Muscovy duck, and they are huge . . . just slightly smaller than geese. I hate geese. But, funny enough, I love the term "silly goose."

Get this: I called the property office, and this duck is attacking other women, too, but Animal Control won't come do anything. So, the apartment complex has to try and catch it themselves. Meanwhile they tell me to always walk around with an umbrella or something!

Here's a picture, from Wikipedia.org, of a Muscovy.