Let's Fight

Let's fight this disease
Together we can change things
Let's save people's lives

I'm at the Relay For Life Summit! We are going to beat cancer one day - join your community's fight by joining the American Cancer Society's Relay For Life!

This Doctor is My Hero

Smiling, he came in . . .
This doctor is my hero.
He helped save my life.

So, it was the "big day" today. My oncology visit two years since my last cancer treatment (but still just a regular three-month check up). I arrived at the Big C place with no thoughts about problems - or praise. And, there were no problems. But, it was a different feel in the air compared to other visits.

Michelle, the nurse, made a point to tell me how pleased Dr. A is with my progress because I was such a "challenge." At first I wasn't sure if I should take that personally or what! haha. I was a GREAT patient according to them - I didn't gripe, I pushed on to the next chemo treatment even though he told me I could take a break because I was so weak. So, that wasn't it.

Next thing, Dr. A walks in the room and runs through the normal check list of stuff. He made a remark about the two year mark, and then he said, "your cancer was so aggressive, and I am just very pleased with your progress."

Umm . . . come again? I never realized it was such a challenging and aggressive tumor. And, thank goodness. I knew I was stage IIB, but I guess I had no comprehension what that meant.I would have tortured myself over it. Dr. A never let me do that. He is so great. But, still it was a little disconcerting to hear about it after the fact even. I just thank God that I am still cancer free. And, I thank God for Dr. A, my hero, who was smiling like a proud parent or something over my health today.

They were all pretty jazzed over me today, and that was a good feeling.

Old Before My Time

Doctors are my life
Visiting every few months
Old before my time

Mask

Fear flickered quickly
She smiled and a mask appeared
"My cancer is back"

For any friends reading this, this isn't about me. This is about a woman I spoke with at my Relay For Life training today. She was so positive and upbeat when talking about beating cancer. But as she told me about a new mass they found, her face changed momentarily. It was subtle yet profound. The smile she wore dropped a bit then came back with full force.

I have smiled that smile before. You are wigging out, but you don't want to see the "you're doomed" face from the other person, so you pump up the volume in your own face - a mask goes up. It's self defense as well as an act of sparing the person you are telling the bad news to.

Heartbreaking Words

Such heartbreaking words,
"My dad has six months to live."
Daddy's girl hurting.

My friend emailed me this week that her father's cancer is back, and it is very serious. The doctors say he has six - eight months. Please say a prayer for her. Nobody is ready to lose a parent at any age, but mid 20s is still pretty early to experience this type of news.

Survivor Lap

Together we walked
We all have fought our cancer
We are surviving

Just about my survivor lap at Relay For Life

Good PET Scan

"Your PET scan is clear."
Like an angel's pronouncement
From my nurse's lips.

Waiting by the Phone

Waiting by the phone . . .
Why haven't you called me yet?
I want my results!

I had a PET Scan almost three weeks ago - no results yet, for fudge sake!

Two Surgeries, No Answers

Life lived in limbo
Two surgeries, no answers
A PET scan is next

Insurance, Hospitals - Money Grubbers!

Oh, money worries!
Lurking, growing like cancer -
What the fudge, people?

Cancer, Stay Away!

Say a prayer for me
Friday I have surgery
Cancer, stay away!

My CAT Scan

Barium smoothie.
An iodine injection.
Life after cancer.

Waiting Room

The waiting room of
The oncologist’s office:
Anxiety-filled.

Oh My Gosh

A cryptic message:
"Call us back about your tests."
Is my cancer back?

Yeah. This is inspired by the wonderful message I got on voice mail last Friday before the long Labor Day weekend. I called back this morning, and they still havent' returned my call. I am sure it must not be anything major or they would have already called, right? What the heck!!!!

Chemo Nurse

A nurse pierced my vein,
And spoke reassuringly
As chemo began.

Snake's Stranglehold

A snake's stranglehold:
Fear chokes me . . . hisses at me . . .
Feasts on my panic.

Medical Expenses

Bills, bills, and more bills.
Drowning in a sea of debt!
Medical expenses.

That Stuff Will Kill Ya

Alzheimer's disease.
Cancer. Heart attack. Stroke. AIDS.
That stuff will kill ya.

Murderous Intent

Murderous intent.
My body turns on itself.
Mom, I have cancer.